Today was different...
Today I've seen a crying soul, a laughing nymph, a mystikal treasure, an armament of peace, a declaration of war, a force of will, & a beacon of hope.
I've seen all these things... inside me.
Like a brilliant glimmer of light shining through me for the first time. Carrying me on, helping me to remain strong. Pushing aside all of my darkest dredds & awakening my hidden desires. Guiding me as I fight my own path through life.
Yet as all these things may come & go. Reminding me of what I was & foretelling of what I will yet be. I know. I know. I know. Though it may sometime flare across the world & burn brighter then the unyielding fire of the sun. Or wane away flickering dimmer then the deepest darkness of night. I will keep it with me. No matter if every other part of me is beaten, bruised, broken, battered & thrown away....
It is all that I am. Scorching through the winds of time. Embracing everything that I choose to be.














Comments
I wonder what the rest of your team came up with!
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even the garden of eden was just a big fancy cage.
Wow.
That's my entire spanish vocabulary, right there
lol
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Traveling across the world looking for you.
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Deviant since February 21, 2005
I wonder myself.....
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Traveling across the world looking for you.
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Deviant since February 21, 2005
hola, como estas?
bein, e tu?
muchos gracias
denada
como
nachos
pork
enchillada
el pastor
senor
senorita
hola
no
burrito
blah
blah
blah
lol
It's actually bein, y tu. HA!!
pork???
blah, blah, blah?
Oh you just had to throw that in ...
lol
Not bad, not bad at all.
I know nothing...!!
*cries*
lol
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Traveling across the world looking for you.
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Deviant since February 21, 2005
BTW, since you put advanced critique-
The big thing that I saw with this piece was the tense.
You start of in past tense with the first sentence "Today was different..." but then immediately shift to the present tense with "I've seen". I think this would have a lot more connection to the reader if you try to be a bit more consistent with that! *hug*
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BTW, I'm now a senior admin for *TheWritersMeow
I wouldn't know. Nobody tells me anything!!!!!
xd
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Traveling across the world looking for you.
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Deviant since February 21, 2005
It's what I was keeping in mind for this piece.
For example a family airloom & how some people view it. Those in the family & those who are not...
Take a second look at the first paragraph & let me know what you see.
( Besides I wouldn't want to give away all the details myself. It is my words not yours so it's not entirely surprising if you missed the "why". )
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Traveling across the world looking for you.
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Deviant since February 21, 2005
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